On: Parenting

Episode: N/A

Date: May 2011

Background: Economist and author of “Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids”.

Key Subjects:

• Parents have very little effect on long-run outcomes of how their kids turn out.
  • There is a short-term impact on kids’ behavior, but the influence fades.
• So, it’s okay to cut back on some of the parental investments.
  • Stop pushing your kids so hard and focus on doing things you and your kids enjoy.
• Also, have more kids.
  • Once you take out some of the unpleasantness, kids are “cheaper” than you think.
• It may be difficult for parents to cut back on investing in their kids.
  • Parents want kids to do well in the short-run (also elevates the status of the parents).
• Most meaningful parenting effect: how kids feel about and remember parents.
  • Irony: parents that push kids hard have little long-term impact other than a bad relationship with the child.
• Kindness and respect.
  • Doesn’t matter if you are a child or an adult, like to be treated with kindness and respect.
  • As a parent, show how good one human being can be to another.
  • Unconditional love is not the same as pampering (cater to all their needs).
  • Do what is best for the child in the long run.
• Discipline.
  • Kids should treat parents with respect as well…
  • Discipline is not about imposing your will.
    • Naïeve to believe that you can change your kid.
    • Doesn’t work with anyone else, spouse, etc.
  • Clear, consistent, mild.
• Safety.
  • World is safer, parents should worry less.
• Economics.
  • The most important difference between today and the world 200 years ago is ideas.
  • The reason why we are richer today than in the past is we now know more than we used to.
  • Important that this flow of ideas keeps coming.
  • New people = new ideas.
  • Also, new people = new consumers (of new ideas).
• Advise:
  • Get more sleep:
    • Ferber method.
  • Clear, consistent, mild discipline:
    • Make your kids decent roommates today.
  • Less activities:
    • If parent doesn’t like it and kid doesn’t like it, scrap the activity.
  • Less supervision:
    • Kids don’t need as much supervision as parents think they do.
    • Kids never complain about parents not spending enough time with them.