Date: May 2011
Background: Economist and author of “Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids”.
- Parents have very little effect on long-run outcomes of how their kids turn out.
- There is a short-term impact on kids’ behavior, but the influence fades.
- So, it’s okay to cut back on some of the parental investments.
- Stop pushing your kids so hard and focus on doing things you and your kids enjoy.
- Also, have more kids.
- Once you take out some of the unpleasantness, kids are “cheaper” than you think.
- It may be difficult for parents to cut back on investing in their kids.
- Parents want kids to do well in the short-run (also elevates the status of the parents).
- Most meaningful parenting effect: how kids feel about and remember parents.
- Irony: parents that push kids hard have little long-term impact other than a bad relationship with the child.
- Kindness and respect.
- Doesn’t matter if you are a child or an adult, like to be treated with kindness and respect.
- As a parent, show how good one human being can be to another.
- Unconditional love is not the same as pampering (cater to all their needs).
- Do what is best for the child in the long run.
- Kids should treat parents with respect as well…
- Discipline is not about imposing your will.
- Naïeve to believe that you can change your kid.
- Doesn’t work with anyone else, spouse, etc.
- Clear, consistent, mild.
- World is safer, parents should worry less.
- The most important difference between today and the world 200 years ago is ideas.
- The reason why we are richer today than in the past is we now know more than we used to.
- Important that this flow of ideas keeps coming.
- New people = new ideas.
- Also, new people = new consumers (of new ideas).
- Get more sleep:
- Ferber method.
- Clear, consistent, mild discipline:
- Make your kids decent roommates today.
- Less activities:
- If parent doesn’t like it and kid doesn’t like it, scrap the activity.
- Less supervision:
- Kids don’t need as much supervision as parents think they do.
- Kids never complain about parents not spending enough time with them.
- Get more sleep: